BRIAN SEWELL How a shoe cleared me

WPC Hamilton strode the distance from the junction, declared it to be 10 metres and then took a statement from me in her own language. When I said that I preferred to write it myself, she called to her companion, WPC Chard: "We've got a right one here." When I pointed to the position of the Mercedes as the cause of the accident, she said: "That doesn't give you the right to knock her down." I began to feel vulnerable.
Last Monday in Kingston Crown Court, I presented my case - again. The precise position of Mrs Keohane's car could only be established by the size of WPC Hamilton's shoes. Grudgingly, she admitted she wears size 6; even more grudgingly she admitted that the car was three shoelengths of her shoe from the kerb, yet still she maintained that this was a mere 12 inches. I then produced a pair of dowdy walking boots borrowed from a friend. "I have here," I said, "a pair of size 6 boots and a tape measure - the sole is some 10 inches long." .

Brian Sewell

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